YOU DO NOT NEED A COMPANY TO BUY A BILLBOARD.
No VAT number. No brand. No marketing budget. No reason. A rectangle of printed paper cannot tell whether you are a corporation or a person who likes their cat a normal amount.
163 things people can put on a billboard, none of which require a business plan
THE OBVIOUS ONES
20Yes, the boring answer works too. Somebody has to pay for the interesting ones.
- your logo
- your startup nobody has heard of yet
- your app, with the QR code that proves it exists
- your restaurant
- your barber shop
- your gym, in January, obviously
- your law firm, in a font that suggests you win
- your accountancy practice, in a font that suggests you are careful
- your bakery
- your tattoo studio
- your record label
- your architecture studio
- your consultancy, whatever it is you actually do
- your dental practice, teeth optional
- your driving school
- your plumbing business, with the number that actually answers
- your removals company
- your agency, in Helvetica, because of course
- your NGO
- your football club
PEOPLE SELLING SOMETHING WITHOUT A COMPANY
20No VAT number required. Paper cannot read a company registry.
- your book, self-published, 40 copies sold, deserves better
- your album
- your podcast, and yes it will be a podcast
- your newsletter with 300 subscribers
- your Etsy shop
- your ceramics
- your prints
- your photography portfolio
- your freelance rate card
- your CV, with a QR code, aimed at one specific company's window
- your Twitch channel
- your OnlyFans — no, actually, read the rules at the bottom
- your open-source project asking for maintainers
- your video game's wishlist page
- your short film screening on one night only
- your comic
- your band's next gig
- your yoga class
- your dog-walking service
- your sourdough starter, which you have named
PEOPLE SELLING NOTHING AT ALL
23The largest and most interesting category. No product, no funnel, no call to action.
- your name
- your face
- your handwriting, scanned
- the word BABY, in enormous letters, for no reason
- a single full stop
- your favourite number
- a colour you like
- the exact shade of your childhood bedroom
- a word in a language nobody in Milan speaks
- your grandmother's saying
- a line from a poem you are allowed to reproduce
- your own bad drawing
- a doodle from a meeting
- your signature
- your fingerprint
- a QR code that leads to a photograph of a sandwich
- a QR code that leads to nothing, forever
- the coordinates of somewhere you have never been
- a date that means nothing to anybody else
- the number of days you have been sober
- a reminder to yourself, visible from a bus
- a shape
- nothing but your background colour, deliberately
LOVE, AND ADJACENT DISASTERS
20Historically the most photographed category of outdoor advertising, and the most expensive apology ever devised.
- a proposal
- an anniversary
- a birthday, in a size that cannot be ignored
- a name inside a heart, like a school desk but six metres up
- the day you met
- an apology, unspecific enough to be dignified
- an apology, specific enough to actually work
- a thank-you to somebody who will never see it
- a thank-you to somebody who definitely will
- your parents' names
- your child's name, spelled the way they insist on spelling it
- a message to your future self, dated
- an inside joke, printed at enormous cost
- a nickname nobody else uses
- an invitation, with the venue and the time
- 'sorry about the thing'
- 'yes, still'
- 'come home'
- a photograph of two people, unlabelled
- the answer to a question somebody asked you years ago
ANIMALS
18You raised this yourself. You were right to.
- your cat
- your cat, again, larger
- your cat, looking mildly disappointed
- your dog
- your dog mid-jump, slightly out of focus, which is correct
- your dog's name in the font of a luxury fashion house
- your rabbit
- your horse
- your parrot
- your goldfish, in memoriam
- your hamster's wheel-time personal best
- a cow, unrelated to any product
- a pigeon, photographed in Milan, returned to Milan at scale
- your snake, which will worry people
- your tortoise, which will worry nobody
- a cat that is not yours, with permission from someone who owns it
- a drawing of an animal that does not exist
- your dog wearing a hat, which is the entire advert
THINGS ONLY TWELVE PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND
15The best use of a billboard. Everyone else sees a mystery; twelve people see a message.
- an inside joke from 2011
- a group chat name
- your fantasy league trophy
- the score of one specific match
- a quote from your friend who says it constantly
- a nickname earned on one specific night
- the name of a WhatsApp group with four members
- a reference to an incident involving a car park
- your university corridor's collective in-joke
- the punchline with the setup deliberately omitted
- a private countdown
- a running joke, printed, to formally end it
- an office bet, settled in public
- the seven-word summary of a friendship
- a birthday message that is legally not embarrassing but morally is
SURPRISINGLY PRACTICAL
16People keep finding uses we did not design for. These are the good ones.
- a recruitment ad aimed at one office window
- your conference talk and its date
- a product launch countdown
- a change of address
- a shop's new opening hours
- 'we have moved, we are now next door'
- a rebrand announcement
- a genuine public thank-you to a team
- an obituary notice, dignified
- a lost cat notice, at enormous scale
- a found cat notice, more triumphant
- an announcement that a long project is finally finished
- a retirement
- a graduation
- a milestone number: 10 years, 1000 customers, 1 customer
- an invitation to an event that anyone may attend
PETTY, BUT ENTIRELY LEGAL
12Aim it at yourself, an idea, or nobody in particular. Aim it at a named person and it will not pass review.
- 'I told you it would work'
- 'still not finished'
- your own new year's resolution, so you cannot escape it
- a public bet with yourself
- 'this cost more than the thing it is about'
- a complaint about an inanimate object
- a complaint about a month
- a complaint about the weather in a specific city
- your least popular opinion, expressed politely
- a hill you are willing to die on, clearly signposted
- 'it was never about the money'
- the thing you should have said at the time
PURE NONSENSE
19There is no rule that says a billboard must mean anything. There is only a rule that says it must be legal.
- a very large egg
- the word 'SOUP'
- a gradient
- a photograph of a door
- a maze that cannot be solved
- a fake barcode
- a fake QR code that is just a pattern
- the number 4, alone
- an arrow pointing at your neighbour's rectangle
- an arrow pointing at nothing
- a horizon line
- a single continuous line drawing
- a chessboard mid-game
- the word 'CONTINUED' with nothing before it
- a fake advert for a product that does not exist
- a fake advert for a product that should exist
- an extremely detailed diagram of nothing in particular
- the same word, sixty times
- your rectangle, left entirely blank, in a colour of your choosing
WHAT YOU CANNOT PUT ON IT
Short list. It exists because this ends up on a wall in a real city, under real Italian advertising law, and because a media owner has to agree to hang it.
- political advertising or campaigning
- gambling, betting, or anything that looks like it
- alcohol, tobacco, vapes, or drugs
- financial products, investment offers, crypto tokens, or anything promising returns
- adult content, or anything you would not want a child to read from a pavement
- weapons
- hate, harassment, or anything aimed at a named private individual
- scams, fake giveaways, malware, or links to any of the above
- artwork you do not have the rights to — including logos, photographs and fonts that belong to somebody else
- anything illegal in Italy, which is a longer list than you would think
Every single submission is read by a person before it appears. If yours is rejected you are refunded in full, and we tell you why in plain language rather than quoting a policy number at you.
Everything else is fair game. You are buying a rectangle, not permission to be interesting.