ANYONE. ANYTHING. ALMOST.

YOU DO NOT NEED A COMPANY TO BUY A BILLBOARD.

No VAT number. No brand. No marketing budget. No reason. A rectangle of printed paper cannot tell whether you are a corporation or a person who likes their cat a normal amount.

163 things people can put on a billboard, none of which require a business plan

01

THE OBVIOUS ONES

20

Yes, the boring answer works too. Somebody has to pay for the interesting ones.

  • your logo
  • your startup nobody has heard of yet
  • your app, with the QR code that proves it exists
  • your restaurant
  • your barber shop
  • your gym, in January, obviously
  • your law firm, in a font that suggests you win
  • your accountancy practice, in a font that suggests you are careful
  • your bakery
  • your tattoo studio
  • your record label
  • your architecture studio
  • your consultancy, whatever it is you actually do
  • your dental practice, teeth optional
  • your driving school
  • your plumbing business, with the number that actually answers
  • your removals company
  • your agency, in Helvetica, because of course
  • your NGO
  • your football club
02

PEOPLE SELLING SOMETHING WITHOUT A COMPANY

20

No VAT number required. Paper cannot read a company registry.

  • your book, self-published, 40 copies sold, deserves better
  • your album
  • your podcast, and yes it will be a podcast
  • your newsletter with 300 subscribers
  • your Etsy shop
  • your ceramics
  • your prints
  • your photography portfolio
  • your freelance rate card
  • your CV, with a QR code, aimed at one specific company's window
  • your Twitch channel
  • your OnlyFans — no, actually, read the rules at the bottom
  • your open-source project asking for maintainers
  • your video game's wishlist page
  • your short film screening on one night only
  • your comic
  • your band's next gig
  • your yoga class
  • your dog-walking service
  • your sourdough starter, which you have named
03

PEOPLE SELLING NOTHING AT ALL

23

The largest and most interesting category. No product, no funnel, no call to action.

  • your name
  • your face
  • your handwriting, scanned
  • the word BABY, in enormous letters, for no reason
  • a single full stop
  • your favourite number
  • a colour you like
  • the exact shade of your childhood bedroom
  • a word in a language nobody in Milan speaks
  • your grandmother's saying
  • a line from a poem you are allowed to reproduce
  • your own bad drawing
  • a doodle from a meeting
  • your signature
  • your fingerprint
  • a QR code that leads to a photograph of a sandwich
  • a QR code that leads to nothing, forever
  • the coordinates of somewhere you have never been
  • a date that means nothing to anybody else
  • the number of days you have been sober
  • a reminder to yourself, visible from a bus
  • a shape
  • nothing but your background colour, deliberately
04

LOVE, AND ADJACENT DISASTERS

20

Historically the most photographed category of outdoor advertising, and the most expensive apology ever devised.

  • a proposal
  • an anniversary
  • a birthday, in a size that cannot be ignored
  • a name inside a heart, like a school desk but six metres up
  • the day you met
  • an apology, unspecific enough to be dignified
  • an apology, specific enough to actually work
  • a thank-you to somebody who will never see it
  • a thank-you to somebody who definitely will
  • your parents' names
  • your child's name, spelled the way they insist on spelling it
  • a message to your future self, dated
  • an inside joke, printed at enormous cost
  • a nickname nobody else uses
  • an invitation, with the venue and the time
  • 'sorry about the thing'
  • 'yes, still'
  • 'come home'
  • a photograph of two people, unlabelled
  • the answer to a question somebody asked you years ago
05

ANIMALS

18

You raised this yourself. You were right to.

  • your cat
  • your cat, again, larger
  • your cat, looking mildly disappointed
  • your dog
  • your dog mid-jump, slightly out of focus, which is correct
  • your dog's name in the font of a luxury fashion house
  • your rabbit
  • your horse
  • your parrot
  • your goldfish, in memoriam
  • your hamster's wheel-time personal best
  • a cow, unrelated to any product
  • a pigeon, photographed in Milan, returned to Milan at scale
  • your snake, which will worry people
  • your tortoise, which will worry nobody
  • a cat that is not yours, with permission from someone who owns it
  • a drawing of an animal that does not exist
  • your dog wearing a hat, which is the entire advert
06

THINGS ONLY TWELVE PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND

15

The best use of a billboard. Everyone else sees a mystery; twelve people see a message.

  • an inside joke from 2011
  • a group chat name
  • your fantasy league trophy
  • the score of one specific match
  • a quote from your friend who says it constantly
  • a nickname earned on one specific night
  • the name of a WhatsApp group with four members
  • a reference to an incident involving a car park
  • your university corridor's collective in-joke
  • the punchline with the setup deliberately omitted
  • a private countdown
  • a running joke, printed, to formally end it
  • an office bet, settled in public
  • the seven-word summary of a friendship
  • a birthday message that is legally not embarrassing but morally is
07

SURPRISINGLY PRACTICAL

16

People keep finding uses we did not design for. These are the good ones.

  • a recruitment ad aimed at one office window
  • your conference talk and its date
  • a product launch countdown
  • a change of address
  • a shop's new opening hours
  • 'we have moved, we are now next door'
  • a rebrand announcement
  • a genuine public thank-you to a team
  • an obituary notice, dignified
  • a lost cat notice, at enormous scale
  • a found cat notice, more triumphant
  • an announcement that a long project is finally finished
  • a retirement
  • a graduation
  • a milestone number: 10 years, 1000 customers, 1 customer
  • an invitation to an event that anyone may attend
08

PETTY, BUT ENTIRELY LEGAL

12

Aim it at yourself, an idea, or nobody in particular. Aim it at a named person and it will not pass review.

  • 'I told you it would work'
  • 'still not finished'
  • your own new year's resolution, so you cannot escape it
  • a public bet with yourself
  • 'this cost more than the thing it is about'
  • a complaint about an inanimate object
  • a complaint about a month
  • a complaint about the weather in a specific city
  • your least popular opinion, expressed politely
  • a hill you are willing to die on, clearly signposted
  • 'it was never about the money'
  • the thing you should have said at the time
09

PURE NONSENSE

19

There is no rule that says a billboard must mean anything. There is only a rule that says it must be legal.

  • a very large egg
  • the word 'SOUP'
  • a gradient
  • a photograph of a door
  • a maze that cannot be solved
  • a fake barcode
  • a fake QR code that is just a pattern
  • the number 4, alone
  • an arrow pointing at your neighbour's rectangle
  • an arrow pointing at nothing
  • a horizon line
  • a single continuous line drawing
  • a chessboard mid-game
  • the word 'CONTINUED' with nothing before it
  • a fake advert for a product that does not exist
  • a fake advert for a product that should exist
  • an extremely detailed diagram of nothing in particular
  • the same word, sixty times
  • your rectangle, left entirely blank, in a colour of your choosing
THE ONLY LIMITS

WHAT YOU CANNOT PUT ON IT

Short list. It exists because this ends up on a wall in a real city, under real Italian advertising law, and because a media owner has to agree to hang it.

  • political advertising or campaigning
  • gambling, betting, or anything that looks like it
  • alcohol, tobacco, vapes, or drugs
  • financial products, investment offers, crypto tokens, or anything promising returns
  • adult content, or anything you would not want a child to read from a pavement
  • weapons
  • hate, harassment, or anything aimed at a named private individual
  • scams, fake giveaways, malware, or links to any of the above
  • artwork you do not have the rights to — including logos, photographs and fonts that belong to somebody else
  • anything illegal in Italy, which is a longer list than you would think

Every single submission is read by a person before it appears. If yours is rejected you are refunded in full, and we tell you why in plain language rather than quoting a policy number at you.

Everything else is fair game. You are buying a rectangle, not permission to be interesting.